@amiko the only way that push notifications work for clients using element on ios is by going to the vector.im centralized server *first*. all push notifications in apple land have to come from the app developer. for element, that's the centralized matrix developers.
at that point you might as well use instagram DMs; it has more people on it.
@lichelordgodfrey @amiko no, this is how all push notifications work on ios and the mac. the device maintains a connection to apple. it's the firebase/fcm equivalent on iOS. (google does the same thing mostly)