just thinking about how good it'd be if i just had the guts to kill myself, but no- i just have to be here

which, i guess is fine?? but, sometimes it's just pretty fucked, with family, life in general, lots of shit, it'd be good to be free of all that shit

would just like to opt out, sometimes

but there's no way to just opt out peacefully and go to a snuggle holiday or smth, where i don't have to worry, so, i don't know, sorry