it's a real bummer when someone is nice to me because they are pairbonded because we are regularly fucking, then if we don't fuck for a year the pairbond goes away and suddenly the existing level of trust is downgraded even though nothing changed (except the pairbond expiring). i wish people were more in the habit of assuming good faith by default, or at least continuing with their previous value even when we're not fucking. i don't think people consciously realize the shift, either.

this has happened to me at least five times in my life. it's really frustrating because i assume my level of social trust with someone is connected to our friendship, not my provision of dick

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