it's a real bummer when someone is nice to me because they are pairbonded because we are regularly fucking, then if we don't fuck for a year the pairbond goes away and suddenly the existing level of trust is downgraded even though nothing changed (except the pairbond expiring). i wish people were more in the habit of assuming good faith by default, or at least continuing with their previous value even when we're not fucking. i don't think people consciously realize the shift, either.