sneak @sneak@sneak.berlin

"Mastodon is just like email."
Like email? So I use Microsoft Outlook?
"Use WHAT"

(Tools -> Account Settings -> RSS Feeds -> New -> https://mastodon.social/@Gargron.rss)

"I wish I had a superpower."
"You have. You can communicate, make other people understand your thoughts and feelings."
"No, a real one."
"You can make things, transform wood, fibre, clay or metal into something new."
"No, I want..."
"You can have all that and still ask for more."
#TypoCorrected #SmallStories #MicroFiction #TootFic

"We have decoded the latest missive from the Humans," Scrp'x said. "It appears to be a diplomatic commitment of loyalty."
Behind them, the gold plaque found on the Humans' first probe was shown.
"They undertake to never: give us up, let us down, or run around and desert us."
#MicroFiction #SmallStories #TootFic

The messages from space began with numerical patterns then built from there. Arithmetic, algebra, calculus; then concepts no human mathematician had dreamt of. But having seen them, they worked it out.
"It's a proof the sender exists."
"So are the messages."
"Still worth saying."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"Oh dear, you have a lot of... things."
The cyborg looked up. "The word is prosthetics."
"So much machinery. Don't you worry you will stop being human?"
"Oh, there is a line I will not cross."
"What line is that?"
"I will not question another person's humanity."
#MicroFiction #SmallStories #TootFic

After Holmes and the doctor left, Lestrade took the young woman aside.
"Tell me," he said, "how does he do it?"
"Sir?"
"You came to us first. Yet he solved it. How?"
"I cannot say. All I know is: he listened, and gave me his full attention."
"Pah! Anyone can do that!"
"And yet."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #FanFic

Once I was dead, it was curiously easy to accept it.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.
Death extended a bony finger, pointing at a tall tower in the distance.
"What is that?"
"Your unread books. Unwatched films. Unplayed games. Etcetera."
"Oh. How much time do I have?"
"All."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"Our neighbours to the east have such a small army," the prince said. "Why don't we just invade and take over?"
"Their knights carry swords forged from moon dust."
"So? Are those sharper than the swords of our knights?"
"If they are able to go to the moon, what else can they do?"
#MicroFiction #SmallStories #TootFic

A spaceship landed, and an alien emerged.
"We come in peace," they said, "Take us to your librarian."
"Er... Don't you mean our leader?"
"Why? We already have leaders."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Introducing the first alpha release of Mastodon 3.11 for Workgroups!

Available for Windows 95

@neglesaks @sneak
The instance I'm on was defederated by lots of instances a while back. Nothing to do with me. Consequently, there were lots of people I could no longer follow, and I lost followers.

Rappers: bust a cap in each other
Media: calm
Rappers: audit the fed
Media:

inb4 one of those mastodon ppl who always brings race into things unrelated to race turns out to be racefaking

everything wrong with gaming today

100 Mastodon myths:

1. Mastodon is hard.

FALSE. It’s a "soft"ware. Not hardware.

2. You have to use Linux to post on Mastodon.

FALSE. FreeBSD and OpenBSD are also supported.

3. You need to learn to use the Vim editor before posting on Mastodon.

FALSE. There’s also an emacs plugin.

4. Mastodon is only for computer nerds.

FALSE. As you can see, we sometimes try to make jokes that everyone could understand.